Competition between twins or siblings: how to help them solve their problems


Competition between twins or siblings can be hard to prevent. But maybe you can try to support your children by helping them deal with conflict situations. Here’s what you can do:

  • Try to help your children to solve problems as much as possible. You can show them the best way to deal with the conflict situation.
  • Suggest several solutions and help them to decide what to do. Helping your children solve their problems is more effective then leaving it up to them. Because if you do so it usually becomes survival of the fittest.
  • Try to prevent conflict as much as possible. We parents usually can tell in advance when our children will end up in a fight. So why wait?
  • You can help your children by depriving them the chance to argue all the time. Either by removing the object of conflict, or by telling your children to play separately.
  • Make your children responsible for the situation en link consequenses to their behaviour. You can encourage them to avoid or solve their own conflict. By rewarding their behaviour with a compliment for example. Or you can discourage conflicts by punishing their behaviour. For instance: ‘if you keep argueing, neither of you get to play with that toy!’

Annick and Elin

Arguments between siblings very often emerge if you don’t have much time to give your children attention. So try to give your children attention as much as possible whenever you have time. Parenting takes a lot of time and especially if you have more then one sibling to take care of, it can be hard to give your children special attention. Maybe you can let your children take turns being your ‘little helper‘ every now and again. There are so many ways to influence your childrens behaviour.

For personal advice you can always contact me by email, twitter or facebook.

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